A few years ago I was talking with a huge rat. He had business in our state's capital.
"Hello little man! Please come here."
"I detect a bit of hesitancy. Are you nervous?"
"Not nervous, but wary. I'm accustomed to the size of river-rats but have come away from a strange exchange with a thing called M*rat, that accused me of "white genocide" because I insisted all humans are of the same species."
"You're quite correct, but I suspect there was something Freudian at work there. What was his first name?"
"And when his mother called him home, what do you think she yelled?"
"I don't know --his name over and over?"
"Yes! 'Randy, Randy' etc.. Then some wag down the street would doubtless answer, 'Me too, but you don't hear me shouting it all over the neighborhood.'"
"You're an educated man, an autodidact..."
"Yes, I taught myself to fix my own car."
"No, I'm talking Freud here and suggesting your accuser is feeling guilt --imagining matricide!"
"Why on earth would anyone want to kill a mattress?"
Then he announced his survey was done. He hopped the next barge down-river . I believe he is mayor of Bolinas now.