In these hard times, when readership has abandoned whole thoughts and youth has migrated to cliquish texting, I find it comforting to travel back to an earlier post that predates ageistic revolution. It lessens the pain of social fragmentation. If you understand the preceding sentence, it rather dates us. I have traveled back a mere 6 years here --and included the excellent comments the post received then-- in hopes that modern readers will agree, disagree, at least acknowledge recognition of its theme. Comments are welcome under those retrieved from the past.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Jeunism
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The figure above is delivering an impassioned speech against Jeunism, elder-discrimination, and has just begun an attack upon the overprescription of stool-softeners by pointing at a softened stool.
"Ladies and gentleman, how can we condone a heinous compound which, when misapplied by ne'er-do-wells, causes our most experienced pianists to fall off their art and sends our most skilled saloonists sprawling onto saloon floors?"
The audience was all attention. Interest and indignation had been piqued. They heard more:
"I have the testimony of Macomber Bomby, the man behind Dan Patch, who drove that peerless pacer to break 14 world speed records, finally setting the world's record for the fastest mile by a harness horse in all history. Mr. Bomby confided to me, he said, 'Professor Fustian, I sits a sulky solider than sudden sodden sanity but when I goes for a snort spiked with stool softener --and mind you, it ain't half bad-- I falls right on the floor.'"
The audience indulged in a collective moan of horror.
Professor Fustian continued: "Dear friends of culture and American progress, I shall conclude this chautauqua on a hopeful note. We have perceived something which warns us we are in the presence of tragedy, that our youth have taken to pharmaceutical offense against us. Like Macomber Bomby, we encounter novelty in the form of stool softener and find ourselves brought back upon our own traces. Who is responsible? If we consult imagination and act upon its suppositions, I believe we'll find ourselves justified in blaming the young.
"In the face of misguided enterprise, errors of youth we cannot ourselves remember making, we must maintain strong character with an immense capacity for self-restraint. When prescribed stool-softener by younger and younger physicians, we must persevere and pretend to agree. Yes, there will backlash and youthful outrage at our stoppage, but we will prevail. Indeed, we have had extraordinary luck isolating this problem and it will be entirely our own fault if we do not succeed in flushing it out."
15 comments:
I haven't yet become old enough to utilize stool softeners, but softening of the brain began afflicting me years ago. I blame it on the Texas dust and heat, although enthusiasts of Jeunism might think otherwise.ReplyDelete
I always come prepared with a dictionary and a reasonably clear mind before I immerse myself in your posts. I immediately had to look up "Jeunism" and became rather alarmed when I realized that it could apply to me.
It's useless for me to write my own blog posts after reading yours. There's no possible way that I could use "chautauqua" in a sentence.
Hahaha, what a funny and intelligent post! In Germany we have the term 'Jugendwahn' - youth mania - and you can see it everywhere - but who are we to complain? We created it - and now we can't get rid of it, as Goethe's the 'Sorcerer's Apprentice'. I love especially your attentive and very involved audience. Professor Fustian seems a bow to Johann Wolfgang von G. too? If I had to translate Chautauqua - had to look it up - we could take Mr. Friedrich Fröbel - but no - that would be a faux pas: he wanted to educate the very young (Audience, grumbling: hear! hear!) forming them like potter's clay...ReplyDelete
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Arleen--You honor me! I got the pic of Dan Patch from Wikipedia, which is getting more Wiz-of-Oz-like all the time.
Keith-- Sometimes I need something to keep thoughts together. You think roughage would help my brain too?
Britta-- I love your insightful comments! Goethe did come to mind but Fustian --as his name implies-- is far more bombastic and less enlightened than the champion of Wiemar Classicism.
Laoch-- Pirsig! I'd forgot his name but not his life-affirming inquiry into existence, love and understanding. Thanks! 
- With "Fustian" I (flippantly) thought of Goethe's protagonist "Faust": Habe nun, ach! Philosophie,ReplyDelete
Juristerei und Medizin,
Und leider auch Theologie
Durchaus studiert, mit heißem Bemühn.
Da steh ich nun, ich armer Tor!
Und bin so klug als wie zuvor;", Project Gutenberg translates it as:
"I've studied now Philosophy
And Jurisprudence, Medicine,--
And even, alas! Theology,--
From end to end, with labor keen;
And here, poor fool! with all my lore"
I stand, no wiser than before: 
- W2W-- Thanks! I hope the younguns find enough hilarity in life without my assistance but I sure appreciate your compliment.
It;s fun looking back occasionally. And you have not changed over time.
ReplyDeleteDear Emma, I fear the time machine around my mind is decelerating, but beyond that my soul is intact. It IS fun looking back, but every new day holds new fun. I can't find it all the time but I know it's there.
DeleteOh, Geo, what will you come out with next?
ReplyDeleteOh, Bruce, it's like the old joke from our childhoods: What do you call a hybrid elephant and rhinoceros?
DeleteAnswer: Elephino.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteYou write very well! I like to come here and improve my English.
Cara Ana, de 1949 a 1959, I morava em uma fazenda de caminhões portuguesa ao longo do rio Sacramento. Foi lá que aprendi muitas palavras com meus avós - a maioria deles carinhosa. Mas nunca aprendi a língua escrita. A gramática e a ortografia são projetos do meu septuagésimo ano. Aguardo com expectativa o seu bom exemplo.
DeleteI used to mind ageism but getting my discounts and free rides on trains and busses Is a nice perk in getting old. I also don’t mind being invisible anymore. It has it’s benefits.
ReplyDeleteMy dear Arleen, if you are ever in public and see young eyes search your face in passing, and respond with a twinkling smile --a nod even-- you know you're not invisible. You are a stabilizer for someone less certain, someone younger. Happens everywhere. Discounts notwithstanding, we have a job to do in an uncertain time.
DeleteWhat do you call a hybrid elephant and crocodile? Answer: Crocophant :)… Ooops, my spell checker says: "No such word" … and I say: "There is very much so such a word! Why? Because I like it that way." :) Love, cat.
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear Cat, for so pleasantly demonstrating the need for new words; they keep every language alive.
DeleteI found this post to be as much of a hoot today as I did six years ago. It still made me laugh out loud. :)
ReplyDeleteNowadays, it isn't so much the bowels that need to be unstopped as the brain. Too many people, young and old, seem to have atti-sclerosis. Hardening of the attitude. (It cat can make up a word, so can I!)
You made up fine and useful word, Susan. You and Cat can claim contributions to coming lexicons. Especially like the letter 'c' (always have), which figures in both your philological advances.
DeleteMy bar stool is still pretty hard, despite numerous applications. Perhaps I should read the directions on the bottle again...
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you, dear Squid! I had the same problem with a hair-restorer, Rogaine Foam, and quit using it because it tasted awful.
DeleteYes, I've been there. Worst ice cream sundae ever!
DeleteThe dangers of the world multiply endlessly! But if it gets to be too much, just remember: this, too, shall pass.
ReplyDeleteExcellent advice, dear BrightenedBoy, especially when the going gets rough.
DeleteThere are always fads that pass and some that remain. Personally I believe the passing ones are better. Healthy fo the economy.
ReplyDeleteDear Susan, I agree. The best fads are the are those that impel smooth movement toward compassion and general prosperity.
DeleteMore delightful HAR HAR! I'm brain dead today, due to all the cold medicine I've stuffed myself with. I placed my first bet on a horse when I was five or six in Charlottetown, PEI. It was Baby Train, my Great Uncle Chester's racehorse. It was a sulky race, and Baby Train won. I've loved horse racing ever since. Stool softeners remind me of colonoscopy prep ~ Ugh!
ReplyDeleteOh True Fundy Blue, a speedy recovery I wish to you. I have not researched the subject thoroughly, but am satisfied the modern words, colonial, colonnade and especially colonel are rooted in the Latin "cŏlon", meaning "Large Intestine". Sulky drivers were first among horse racers to get facial protection as standard equipment.
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