I found a message on the garden slate. So far as I could translate, it read: "For we already sing of highest adventure, a newly paved main road and gate-lights" --then trailed off into flowers and earth.
I walked south into our woods and scanned for clues, saw some suspects then sat down on a log. "There are lots of lovely creatures
out here, but which of them is capable of attempting French graffiti?"
"Mwah??!!" I exclaimed.
"No, 'Moi'..."
"E(a)rnest? Is it you?"
"Mai oui, cher humain...Un instant..." He adjusted a tiny dial on his chest. "There! I'm set to English again."
"E(a)rnest, what is that dial attached to?"
"To moi --I mean me. We squirrels have brains about the size of thimbles. Couldn't learn languages so we developed technology to do the job for us."
Something didn't sound right but I didn't pursue it. I decided to learn more. "Why change languages in the first place?"
"Well, because in case you hadn't noticed, a thousand acres across your road has got subdivided and crowded with housing tracts and apartment buildings and it won't stop there. We rodents are getting forced out. Bunch of us are going to France --otherwise, it's war."
I answered with a sigh,"Ah, c'est la guerre."
"Luh Gare?" he asked. "Why should I say that?"
Please E(a)rnest stay in the United States. What would we do without you?
ReplyDeleteDear Emma, E(a)rnest considers your request seriously. I showed him a globe and relative positions of California and France. He now thinks everything in France is standing sideways.
DeleteI'm with you, E(a)rnest...get out while the gettin's good. I'm headed to Germany, it's a easy drive from France. We'll catch up over a coffee or Pils.
ReplyDeleteGermany's a great destination, Mike, but be careful of the language. I took 2 years of German in highschool and my soft palate is stll recovering.
DeleteDespite the pillaging of the land, E(a)rnest will always have a peaceful home on your property where English and French unite.
ReplyDeleteWarm holiday greetings with hugs to you, Norma, and assorted critters.
Hi Jon! This property runs on peacefulness, Norma, Critters and me included. We wish you glad tidings of the season, and speedy recovery as well.
DeleteOh I love the graffiti and I love e(a)rnest and his dial. I use Google translate lol Merry Christmas
ReplyDeleteWelcome Marja! I too like the ease of translation sites. They help earthlings communicate --and some Californians. Merry Christmas to you too!
DeleteHahaha - but you have to admit that it succeeded in catching your attention! (as French so often does).
ReplyDeleteSome relatives of E(a)rnest didn't change their language but their hair - I I was surprised to see only grey squirrels in Great Britain - as those houses you mention they replaced the red-haired ones that we have in Germany.
So the Importance of Being E(a)rnest was lost. A la recherche du temps perdu...
Dear Britta, Thanks for your delightful comment! Is it possible that squirrels go through fads in hair-dye like people? E(a)rnest used to have some brown hair that became blond as he grew up.
DeleteI haven't asked because he might be sensitive about it.