I find myself. Resulting interview disjointed.
You're mistaken. I'm just somebody who looks like me.
"You incline toward personal fiction."
Even fiction is not entirely fictional.
"Meaning what?
Meaning, what's the difference between a tyrannical puppeteer controlling the impressionable with taut strings and another using stale rubber bands?
"Difference being?"
Taut means tightly stretched. Taunt means ridicule and other semantic bullyisms toward the same effect, but slower and subtler; stale rubber bands.
"Where are your feet?"
In the bedroom.
"Where is your head?"
"Are there pearls of wisdom in your head?"
I don't know pearls from calcified clam snot.
"Is that not what nacre is?"
In school I learned nacre is snot, which shellfish secrete around a grain of sand. It boogerizes, calcifies and ends up on an expensive necklace.
"Yes, a simple truth. Would you cast them before swine (Matthew 7:6) ?"
No, pigs have their own snot.They would perceive them as little rocks and start asking questions.
"What sorts of questions?"
Uncomfortable ones, like 'If we like jewelry, can we not invade your chifferobes and try your clothes on?' We who work the outer limits of feet, mind and mathematics must consider these enigmas in our calculations. Go thou and do likewise. Your regular pastor will return next Sunday, same as yesterday --this is Monday.
Casting clam snot before swine...yep....that pretty much describes my 'pearls of wisdom'.
ReplyDeleteThe puppeteers are hard at work these days getting us all worked up and tense over the current scare. When that fades they will no doubt come up with something else. In the meantime, gas is cheaper.
Indeed, dear Delores, there seems always to be some new trouble to disturb life. Gas prices may go down in 2020 but will we be well enough to buy it? Is anybody watching an inversely corresponding rise in Kleenex profits?
DeleteI do hope that my own snot (there is a snot fest here at the moment) calcifies into someththing valuable. I fear not.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the smiles.
Dear EC., you are already valuable; no need to calcify. Here in California, we have the Garlic Fest in Gilroy, every other kind of fest in San Francisco, but if there's a Snot Fest in Canberra, I'd like to compare it with the on-going one we've had in Sacramento.
DeleteTo quote Gus MaCrea "We don't rent pigs!"
ReplyDeleteDear Mike, to quote Gus a little farther into that sentence: "...I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop." A prescient and accurate comment describing a couple administrations this century.
DeleteYou reminded me of a song I heard many years ago. Upon Googling, I find it was sung by an English skiffle artist named Lonnie Donegan and was called Cumberland Gap. The content that you stirred up goes like this:
ReplyDeleteWell, I got a girl six feet tall
Sleeps in the kitchen with her feet in the hall
Cumberland gap, Cumberland gap
Fifteen miles on the Cumberland gap
Thanks for stirring up pleasant memories, Reverend Geo.
Dear Bruce, I recall a mid'60s group, "Haveson's Hicks" comprised of people I knew well. The group played guitar and other instruments but mainly relied on their energetic voices, washtub rhythm and anything else they could musically assimilate, At the time, as recording tech, I called it "jug band music". But I realize now, it was something the whole world needed.
DeleteThe calcification and beautification of mucus is a fact of constant awe, much better to dwell on than the End Of Days vibe given off by fearful hoarding of toilet roll. If I were to stockpile I would add to the wine shelves to make quarantine jollier. One can improvise a clean bum easier than a good red IMHO.
ReplyDeleteOff to wash my hands now and check for string/old elastic...
Dear Lisa, your comment is welcome AND prescient. Just returned from supermarket where only 4 packs of toilet paper remained. I bought 2 of them,then went to the wine aisle and loaded 3 magnums --2 local cabernets and a pinot noir. You see, I have studied your opinion regarding "clean bum" and "good red" and consider it axiomatic. Thanks!
DeleteCalcified snot, eh? Kinda makes me happy my "pearl" earrings are fake.
ReplyDeleteThe run on toilet paper is interesting, isn't it? Even the el cheapo stuff was sold out in our store yesterday. I sure am glad we didn't need any!
I just read in this morning's paper that POTUS was directly exposed to the coronovirus... but he doesn't plan to be tested or self-quarantine. Must be nice to be so above it all. Selfish as hell, but nice. You and Norma take care. Have a super weekend.
Oh dear Susan, fake pearl earrings are beautiful --as always, beautiful as the one who wears them. I can't help imagining how bad I would feel if I was hunted and killed for the value of my snot. As for covid-19, I don't consider Trump above it, or a remotely qualified human being, but his travel restrictions seem reasonable --if easily circumvented.
DeleteWell I read this Monday post on Friday, and neither it nor me has calcified, though I can't be sure the process dos not lurk somewhere, away from humor.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling well, Tom. Norma started discussing the news a little while ago --you know, that virus thing, like of which no one has ever known-- and I told her I simply couldn't think about it ALL the time. Then I apologized, as we men usually do (especially if we're right).
DeleteI love the story about Dorothy Parker, who, when she met a younger rival woman who stopped in front of a door and said disdainful to Dorothy: "Age before beauty!"
ReplyDeleteanswered:
"Pearls before swine!"
and then walked through the door.
I hope the Corona virus would calcify (is that the right word?) soon!
In the meantime I wish you and Norma (and all others) good health!
Dear Brigitta, I love the Dorothy Parker anecdote(!) and echo your hope regarding covid-19 control. Take good care while traveling and stay healthy. You're important to me.
DeleteThank you so much, Geo., you're important too for me! I cancelled the travels at the moment - sad, but they were not utterly "necessary". Take care, and Norma too, I send you my best wishes!
DeleteBest wishes to you too, Britta. I drove to an appointment with my doctor today only to find a note on the door directing patients to telephone consultations and computer video examinations. I'll be glad when this pandemic is resolved.
DeleteYou know, I wore a "pig tie" to church this morning. I knew we would not have a huge crowd as we have been streaming for a couple of years and for the first time more watched than gathered. Not sure what that has to do with this post, but I'm tired and thought I would throw it into the midst.
ReplyDeletewww.thepulpitandthepen.com
I imagine it means more of the flock is congregating electronically to avoid a microbial test of faith. This is understandable --but I confess ignorance at the term "pig tie". I grew up in a ranching town and knew "hog tie" from rodeos but suspect it is a different thing.
DeleteI wrote my fake pearls the other day after years of not. I felt elegant.
ReplyDeleteChurches here in Calif. are will be closed. Thank you, God, that you are never closed.
Dear Susan, I bet you looked elegant too. Yes, churches will close here in Calif., but their theme of helping, protecting, preserving neighbors' well-being will be as much a practical sermon as many vocal ones. We'll get through this, think of tremendous operations of the universe that created the mystery of us. God doesn't dispose of mysteries, so it's probably in our best interest to remain one.
DeleteWhen I hear the word "pig" now, all I can think of is Esther the Wonder Pig. If you have Facebook, she is here:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.facebook.com/estherthewonderpig/
And if you don't have Facebook, here's her website:
https://www.estherthewonderpig.com/
She would look excellent in pearls!
As for tyrannical puppeteers, I am so tired of that face and that voice. It will be such a relief when he is no longer in the White House. It's been unconscionable how he has handled the pandemic to date.
Dear Jenny, I checked out Esther The Wonder Pig and thought she was well decked-out, but not really my type. Must admit, however, she could be improved by pearls. I concur with your assessment of the face in the White House; it just seems to go from rictus to sphincter and back over and over.
DeleteThank you for stopping by. Much appreciated. You are welcome anytime … but sorry no "footin' puttin' on ma table:)Love, cat.
ReplyDeleteDear Cat, table etiquette understood and agreed with. Love needed, appreciated and reciprocated.
DeleteFrom nacre to chifforobes, you always stretch my brain, Geo. Thanks for a humorous, thought provoking interview on a night when the pandemic news is not good. I envy your relaxed pose; I've been high strung since I entered this world. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYou're certainly welcome, dear Louise. Your assessment of my writing pose is appreciated but truthfully, over the past 20 years I've developed what Thurber called "The Permanent Jumps". I take medicine for it, which helps, but today I spent the afternoon trying to reestablish contact with my doctor --who's office was closed when I tried to keep an appointment on the 17th. Met with success. Also success with pharmacy which needed his authorization for med. renewal. During all of which, I drank a whole bottle of local Cabernet Sauvignon (from nearby Lodi). So it was win win win, a good day. Now it's getting late and I shortly must go to bed to meet tomorrow's challenges. Take care Louise and thanks for the nightcap comment!
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