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Sunday, January 12, 2020

Newyear Misphonia

I have never thought myself feeble-minded more than 5 to 10 times a day until recently. This scholarly essay is intended modify that estimate.

You may notice the clip above, in technical terminology, does not "go". I set out to demonstrate a marvel of modern handheld electronics by making the little clip to show what a wondrous circuitry we inhabit. All I found was YouTube no longer supported my modest home-page and was catering to commercials in the middles of other clips. Well, with one thing and another being both and back again, I decided this was awkward --especially when I couldn't figure it out after several week's inattention. 

To improve matters, I accidentally pressed "publish" instead of "save to draft". I hope to correct that slight error forthwith. I shall now investigate another "camera app". Does anybody know what "camera app" means? I sure don't. Is anybody working on this? Here goes:


I hope I have not confused anyone, or myself, beyond limits of correction. I was simply entranced by this gift --from Chicago Daughter-- of a handheld fart machine; I once had a little pet dog who fit that description. I also appreciate the excellent reports, dispositions and suggestions of commenters who suffered through earlier tests of this post. Happy New Year All.



42 comments:

  1. Noise often does drive me crazy (crazier). I hope you are ok, and mourn that the video is silent (which may have been your intention).

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    1. Silence was not my intention, dear EC. I hope my second whack at "camera app" helped --whatever camera app is.

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  2. Sadly I could not hear the 'everyday noise' of your voice. The player tab was mute. A moment of silence in a noisy world.

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    1. Dear Delores, this enigma has a ways to go before resolution, but the fact that 2 other people have successfully played the second clip suggests "a moment of silence in a crazy world" is an inadvertent invention on my part that entered the world attended by profanity (mine).

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    1. Same here, lovely Arleen. So I have added a second video that seems to reflect some progress as Norma bangs and clatters dishes in the background.

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  4. Hmm . . . the video does not work for me, Geo.

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    1. 0_Jenny, please try the 2nd video. It's full of crazy noise and reflects my thoughts exactly.

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  5. Simon and Garfunkle "Sounds of Silence"?

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    1. I suppose it amounts to that, Mike. When an outfit like YouTube sells the middle of an Arlo Guthrie song to Donald Trump, it's time for me to leave their premises quietly.

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    2. No shit, pal. My thoughts too. All the best, always.

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  6. The second one worked for me, if that could be my reaction to it.

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    1. Thanks, Bruce! I needed to hear something good came of my efforts.

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  7. I think I am evolving into a technological Neanderthal. Maybe not. Maybe I was always in that state.

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    1. Understood, Tom. Where once I was a fairly knowledgeable cyber-traveler I am now a wandering idiot in a chaotic land.

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  8. Ah, success! I'm glad you found the fremus framus switch, or whatever, to post this post. I kept getting a notice the page "does not exist," and that threw me into an existential crisis of sorts. I knew you existed, because I could see you with an arrow over your face, but we toil under the mercy of code and algorithms and we never see them in the grocery, or at the farmers market or the pub-so how and to whom do we protest? Well, now I know, it is that device your daughter sent you. That must be the magic transponder to reach the code overlords. I could just see it on your face!
    Cheers!

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    1. Dear Tom, I've been fairly acrobatic in following changes in YouTube, but when they suddenly started interrupting iconic liberal folksingers' clips with advertisements for Trump, they lost my willingness to jump through hoops. I exist, but have been marginalized by an algorithm that comes with its own shovel.

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  9. Geo:

    As you stated, the first video attempt was non-motile. The second video, by contrast was pleasant although some aspects seemed difficult for your device to capture. I must say, though, that you have a very pleasant speaking voice.... smooth and of pleasant diction. This is opposed to my on sonorous and guttural speech (perhaps due to my Germanic heritage, I suppose).

    PipeTobacco

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    1. Dear Prof., I took 2 years of German in high school and learned many useful things, like how to make "R"s with back of my tongue. It's been well-over 50 years since then and my soft palette has nearly recovered. I feel better already. I still love the German language --especially the grammar-- and read poems where discovering the verb at the end of a thought is more realistic than releasing its impact immediately after the subject of a sentence. I thank you for the compliment and your patience with an old man who is always a young student of languages.

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    2. I concur with you about the German language! I ended up taking three years of it in college and loved the rather didactic nature of the grammar and also the way that the language mashes together all manner of words and syllables and sounds into enormous words.... it felt entertaining to me!

      PipeTobacco

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    3. I too delight in the poetic humor that goes into compilation of " bandwurmwörter" (tapeworm words).

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  10. Second video working fine - you have a voice! I just had a video call with some grandchildren, they also are little fart machines. Youtube is too much commitment for me currently, I applaud your journeying there :-)

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    1. Dear Lisa, yes I have a voice, but without YouTube it can't be heard by those who follow this blog "electronically" instead of GFC. Unfortunately, YouTube went commercial-political while I glanced away for a few weeks and I now confess myself baffled. The "camera app" I chose doesn't have the same versatility as the one I sadly abandoned, but this aint over yet.

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  11. I am pleased to announce that my landline phone doesn't possess a single app. (Nor does my hubby's cellphone, for that matter.) We're dinosaurs, I suppose, because we're perfectly happy to have a telephone serve as strictly that... a telephone.

    I can't hear anything on your clip, but more likely than not, the fault's on my side rather than yours. The sound card on my PC only works intermittently... which means, hardly ever. I suppose I could replace it, but... meh. My laptop still works. In my office, I entertain myself with CDs playing in the background. (And I don't miss the plethora of sounds that used to emanate from my PC even one little bit..)

    Be well, dude, and happy new year!

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    1. No Apps? No sound card? No problem! All sounds produced by Daughter's gift can be reproduced by cat caught in a barbedwire fence. Back-up disharmonies are provided by Norma on earpiece phone to SF Boys while banging sauce and baking pans in a steel sink. As for modern cell phones, I have one I bought in 2004 --it has several hundred messages I've forgot how to access. So long as it charges and can reach Triple A Auto Club, I'm happy with it. Don't worry about the noises, Susan; my expressions in the experiment reflect a dude amid favorite dude-noises --farts, dish-banging and the girl I fell in love with 52 years ago. May yours be a well and happy household too.

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    2. They sound like "my" kinda noises, too. Would you believe we have a book entitled, "Farts Around the World"? It was a gift from on of our grandsons. Boy! Does he ever have our number. The sounds it produces (Oh, YES! It comes complete with a unique variety of fart noises...) never fail to make us laugh.

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  12. This would get to me. I am a pretty quiet person.

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    1. Dear Susan, my beautiful, intelligent daughter is quite cognizant of my quirky sense of humor. She knows I like quiet too, but also doubtless remembers I bought the kids a pneumatic whoopee cushion, which could be heard from the bathroom throughout the house --and caused great concern among guests.

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  13. Haha, Geo! I took great delight in your voice, the faces you made to accompany the farts, and the farts themselves. As someone who spent many, many years with third grade boys, this really makes me laugh! But forgive me for thinking, that you were perhaps a bit of a third grade boy still, in that I could clearly hear Norma (I presume) doing dishes with another female while you were playing. But then, perhaps like my husband often reminds me, I'm not giving you credit for all the work you did before you sat down with a toy! All the best to you!

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    1. Dear Louise, to your comment I delight in turn. True, part of me is still in the 3rd grade. Your husband is correct; so are you: when I sit down with a toy, all the work I did before is forgotten. Best to you as well!

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    2. I'm so glad you have a good sense of humor, my friend!

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  14. Happy belated birthday, Geo. I'm not sure how I missed so many of your posts but I have some reading to do as soon as I stop giggling over your fart machine and this: "I decided this was awkward --especially when I couldn't figure it out after several week's inattention." Sometimes things figure themselves out after several weeks of inattention but not this time, I guess.

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    1. Caro Consigliere, as I get older I find new principles and processes demonstrating themselves as though I was not looking. It is a method I've come to rely on but still, I am sometimes impelled to examine the present in retrospect as I do the past. At 70, I try to perfect this art before I become cantankerous. Oops, too late.

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  15. Your new and improved recording was definitely worth the return trip here, Geo. So sorry about YouTube. I'm finding it a pain in the neck to watch videos there now also. Sigh. Everything's about money, it seems. And politics, worse luck.

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    1. 0_Jenny, I've always resisted adverts trying to persuade me into one thing or another and was quite pleased with YouTube when it was a free forum and fine example of information-exchange. It's a bit like tv --remembering programs divided by commercials --Mr. Clean, Bucky Beaver,"See the USA in your Chevrolet" etc.-- then two minute ads interrupting shows, time enough to grab a snack. However YouTube seems to have skipped all intermediary intrusions in favor of the obnoxious. I endorse your sigh with my own.

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  16. I gave my grandson something like that for Christmas. He loved it. Apparently you do too.

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    1. True. No matter how sophisticated and dignified I became as an adult, I still sometimes find myself with other guys on a porch after dinner, engaged in an impromptu fart contest.

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  17. Unknown Unsubscribe

    1:11 PM (1 hour ago)

    to me
    Unknown has left a new comment on your post "Newyear Misphonia":

    Wow! this is Amazing! Do you know your hidden name meaning ?

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    1. Hello Unknown, haven't seen your cheerful vacancy for a few weeks. How are you? Oh I know, it's secret, unknown. I realize you want to be unknown so I cleared your stubborn backlinks --you'll get my bill. I see you've added "Unsubscribe" after your first name; I presume Unsubscribe is your family name. I wish you all well. As to my "hidden name" meaning, there is good reason to withhold it --whatever it is. Oh yes, I know what it is but luckily you don't. Those unfortunates who have seen it on forms, cheques and transcripts immediately went insane --which accounts for our troubled world. I prefer my "hidden name" remain hidden. Its "meaning" is quite beyond your current stage of evolution.

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