"Hi, Darwin."
"Hi, Geo., stay back a bit."
"Reason?"
"There are bite-sized bugs, attracted to the lightbulb, that I really like."
"Sure thing, Darwin."
"What are you up to tonight, Geo.?"
"Well, it's 11 o'clock and I just captured a wolf-spider in a cup and card, then deposited him safely outdoors --where he can have a more rewarding life."
"I can't eat wolf-spiders. They're bigger than I am."
"That's not the point, Darwin, I did it so the spider could..."
"Nonsense, you did it because you humans think you must do God's work for Him!"
"Darwin, I could say I'm sorry you feel that way but one does not apologize to an insult."
"Oh it's just the hunger and the rattling I got from your recent holiday conducted with explosives."
" 'Sokay Darwin. I celebrated in peevish silence and checked all night for field fires. Our neighbors aren't all idiots but one's all it takes."
"I know, Geo. I saw you (sniff). "
"Uh-huh. I love you too, Darwin."
Thank you for your silent, peevish and watchful celebrations. An excellent counter for all potential idiots.
ReplyDeleteMost kind, EC. Last year I picked 5 smoldering bottle rockets off my roof. This year was much better. Although some cinders came close to the dry west field, I didn't have to run out with my extinguisher.
DeleteLove it, especially the line about not apologizing for an insult.
ReplyDeletewww.thepulpitandthepen.com
Dear Sage, thanks. Although nearly brainless, treefrogs accept the onus of their disparaging remarks better than some other species I'll decline to name.
DeleteYou're a champ!
ReplyDeleteYou honor me, Bruce. Scanning the summer night with my shovel, fire extinguisher, and old track shoes I feel like a champ sometimes --except I was in pajamas; does that cost points?
DeleteI hope Darwin ate his fill. Those bugs are plentiful this year.
ReplyDeleteDear Emma, Darwin and his friends were quite busy on the lamp post, but the cliff-swallows have lately been swarming at dusk to clear mosquitoes for them. Good thing too.
DeleteBeautiful homily! Faithful to the sacredness of life and caring. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI note that Darwin's midnight snack must begin a bit earlier too.
Perceptive Tom, as a discourse following a sermon in the language of Nature, I thought it appropriate for Sunday.
DeleteDarwin would grow substantially here in the east as all the rain has brought with it at least a three-fold increase in the number of tasty bugs. I appreciate spiders because they are on the front lines in ridding us of many of these biting pests.
DeleteI can appreciate professionally done pyrotechnics done once a year but the amateurs both scare and annoy me as the booms in the night continue for over a month.
Dear Arleen, I agree completely with your view of professional pyrotechnics over individual and unsupervised idiots exploding money far into the night. I firmly believe any fireworks that can be launched should should be illegal to public purchase. Here we call them roofburners, but they are dry field and people burners as well. But Fireworks stands pop up everywhere, aligning themselves with schools, churches and other charities that used to subsist on bake sales. In U.S. this year, fireworks brought in 1.3 billion dollars--mostly in a couple weeks before the 4th. This is poor but lucrative use of idiots.
DeleteFrogs don't start fires but idiot humans do. Thank you for being 'on guard' for your neighbourhood on behalf of all those innocent frogs out there.
ReplyDeleteDear Delores, It is a privilege to guard my house, the fields, the properties of neighbors and (more importantly) treefrogs, simply by staying up late on the 4th and making sure they're alive and undamaged in the morning. It is a service to one's country that doesn't require firearms.
DeleteHumans think they "must do God's work for Him" - that's correct and it's the tragedy of Mankind. People have been violating God's rules from the very beginning , and look where it's got us. Climate change might lead us to the very end, and the universe taken over by wildlife like in Chernobyl.
ReplyDeletePerceptive Duta, I agree thoroughly. 15 miles outside my my town, in 1975, Rancho Seco Nuclear Power Generator was built. The plant operated until June 1989, but had only a 40% lifetime capacity average. It was closed by public vote in 1989 after a record of annual shut-downs, cost over-runs, mismanagement, multiple accidents, radioactive steam releases, etc. We were told it would take 30 years to shut it down completely, at the cost of hundreds of jobs. Some of those workers were friends, yet I am proud to have helped shut that thing down with my vote. I lost no friends. They had other jobs waiting. Deciding factor for them, and me, was local cancer rates increased significantly during its operation. And yes, they dropped afterwards.
DeleteLove this conversation with Darwin Doorbooger, friend Geo. I have similar conversations with my cat Theo Thunderbutt … smiles … Always, cat.
ReplyDeleteMy dear Cat, "Theo Thunderbutt" is a fine name for a feline --or a cinematic super-hero. I can imagine the frantic ne'er-do-wells shouting,"Run! And don't light any matches!" Thanks for the smiles.
DeleteSome people don't have the brains they were born with, as we say in these parts. It doesn't make sense but it fits. I'm sorry you have to worry about fires on what's supposed to be a day of celebration.
ReplyDeleteDarwin sure is a cute little fella! He's SO tiny.
0_Jenny, Darwin and his kind have been a saving grace for one living in the prairie. I'm indebted to his gentle, trusting ways. When he gets into the back porch, I have only to reach out and he hops onto my hand. It feels like a raindrop. In the language of Nature, I couldn't hope for a better tutor.
DeleteI admire your generous gesture of rehabilitating the wolf-spider. I would have gotten a can of Raid and annihilated him.
ReplyDeleteNo fireworks around here this 4th of July. There was too much rain.
I hope Darwin is getting enough bite-sized bugs to eat.
Dear Jon, I have watched Darwin catch a whole housefly in his little mouth and spend --well, I don't know how long swallowing and digesting-- much of the evening on that meal. Wolf Spiders are quite good at darting and nabbing bugs as big as roaches but sometimes follow them indoors. They comply peacefully to the cup-and-card method. There ARE creatures I spray poison at, Hornets, Black widow Spiders --creatures that have wounded me over the years. If there was an aerosol fireworks deterrent, I'd use it on the 4th, but rain would do.
DeleteAww...Darwin is such a cute little fella! Perhaps you could send him over to me, we have an infestation of various bugs here and they are eating all our flowers! Must be the weather conditions.😕
ReplyDeleteI have to say...that wolf spider you caught...it really gave me the shivers! I am absolutely terrified of spiders!! We have a lot of those this year too, and my hands are literally shaking when I have to catch and put them outside.
A strange thing though...whilst I am afraid of them, I am also fascinated. How peculiar! Lol
Have a great afternoon!😊😊
Dear Ygraine, I'll pass your kind compliment on to Darwin. So far as I can tell, Wolf Spiders hunt mainly on the ground and haven't much use for webs. However I never touch them with my bare hands --always gently use a plastic cup and slide a card under my catch. I don't know if they'd bite a human --that would be like us trying to bite a dinosaur or large building. They do seem to prey upon insects that eat gardens, so handle them with care. Great afternoon to you too!
DeleteWolf Spiders do a fine job as hunters. We have lizards we have named Fred, all of them. They also hold their own.
ReplyDeleteSigh. Fires. Between fires and earthquakes, we have had enough natural disasters. We are safe from tsunamis.
Dear Susan, I shall henceforth call all lizards by the name, "Fred". I had a dear friend in school named Fred --who was in no way lizardly, nor did he eat insects-- who taught me a great deal about photography. His parents spoke mainly Japanese and I learned much from the whole family. I've had no Freds in my life for many years and just enjoy pronouncing the name --which I shall now do when I see lizards. Thank you!
DeleteHi, Geo! Thank you for sharing Darwin Doorbooger! He is darling and perceptive. It's been a while since I've seen any frogs around here. I keep looking for them.
ReplyDeleteTerry is the brave softy here. He's captured many a spider, fly, and even a snake or two in our homes and carried them gently outside to continue their lives. I usually run away and hope that whatever scary thing that intruded has disappeared by the time I return. If Terry is about, I'll shriek for him. You should have heard me the time I found a snake curled up in the bottom of our washing machine!
I'm sorry that July 4th was a harrowing time for you and Darwin. I love fireworks, but only those that are professionally produced. I can't believe all the fireworks stands that pop up in our area, not to mention the many people who drive to and from Wyoming to purchase fireworks that are illegal in our state in order to shoot them off on July 4th.
And Darwin, not to worry, I love frogs. I wouldn't run shrieking from you. From the time I discovered the wonderful children's novel "The Prince of the Pond: Otherwise Known as de Fawg Pin" by Donna Jo Napoli, until the year I retired, I read this marvelous book aloud to my students. If you want to read a funny, poignant, profound book, Geo, I highly recommend it. You could read parts of it aloud to Darwin while he's enjoying his late night snacks! Take care my friend!
Thank you, Blue! I'll keep an eye out for Ms. Napoli's book. I've always been fond of tree frogs --they can be so trusting. Some are spooked by humans though. I caught one in the shower 2 nights ago but he kept hopping out of my hand. Had to go get the cup and card and take him outdoors, both of us quite naked. Since they average about 1/2 inch from stem to stern, I have to be very careful not to hurt them. Snakes are tougher, must be grabbed right behind their heads, then they calm down after wrapping the rest of themselves around my arm. Country life, eh?
Delete