"Hello Geo.!"
"Did you hop onto that tightrope or are you in the middle of crawling on it?"
"I'm just sitting here, waiting."
"Waiting for bugs, I bet."
"Bugs would be good, perhaps a nice ant-trail. How have you been?"
"Not bad for a human my age. I've had tinnitus for four months."
"I know. I can hear it."
"Yes, I remember, you hear the brains of others in the absence of your own. But why have you quit the pumphouse door for this precarious perch?"
"Just showing off. Can Norma take a photo of me here?"
"Of course. But Darwin, why there?"
"Consider it a test of balance. I wanted to see if I could do it. Let me explore your memory. Hmmm, interesting. 40 years ago you were in an alley..."
"Yes, a studio that gave onto an alley. I restored artwork there. I don't do that now."
"Don't you? Consider this photo from a recent poem illustration:"
"Easier, Geo., if we just compare it to the original:"
"One of which was growing out of your collar and into your right ear. That can't have helped your tinnitus."
"It is often an ailment of unknown etiology, Darwin. Its symptoms constitute an enigma."
"Best addressed by...?"
"So far, by maintaining a policy of inquiry --like a detective story-- and..."
"Balance, Geo.? Balance?"
"Quite."
"And, Geo., if you can paint out streetlights and signs..."
"...I can perhaps mask this dialtone in my head?"
"You said it, gong-boy, not me. Why, I believe I saw an ant! Bye.
I do hope that Darwin is right.
ReplyDeleteLove the portrait Norma took of him, and suspect that he is right and you do underestimate your talents. And do so often.
Thanks EC, I hope he's right too. Although brainless and barely an inch between butt and beady eyes, Darwin is one wise amphibian. Now that's a sentence you'll rarely see in a history of evolutionary theory.
DeleteAn intimate chat with a befriended tree frog, and vanishing road signs. The season turns with enchantment.
ReplyDeleteMy tinnitus has become a kind of white noise. A reminder the power is still on.
Thanks for the encouragement, Tom. I'm still pursuing physical causes for this --ct scan last month, sonogram on Friday. Mean time, I've modified an audio oscillator to produce tones masking 10,000 Hz --the pitch of my tinnitus. Cabernet helps too.
DeleteIf only we could expunge our ailments with a simple device like Photoshop - - what a wonderful world it would be. Unfortunately, we are all walking through life on a tightrope of Dalligrass and it's not easy - - even though Darwin Doorbooger seems to do it effortlessly.
ReplyDeleteTinnitus - from what I've read - is a complicated affliction with many causes. I hope that, somehow, there will be a cure for yours.
Haven't tried Photoshop yet, Jon, but this pc came with an excellent set of simple picture tools on Windows File Explorer. I can match colors and do in-painting much as I did as an art restorer. As for tinnitus, I am pursuing all avenues of inquiry simultaneously. It invites me to be off balance, but i can't permit that. I'll adjust.
DeleteI have been suffering from tinnitus since I was in a car accident 14 years ago. I have grown used to it but there are times that I just wish for the sound of silence. Losing my balance due to being a dizzy dame though has become a problem. My doctor has given me more chemicals that do help somewhat. I hope you find your balance back soon and in the meantime, be careful stepping around your little friend.
ReplyDeleteAs a gardener, I had to sit on loud machines for 30 years so my ear-trauma was more gradual, Arleen. I guess it's one of those changes I must accept. Tree frogs will jump right onto my head when I step outside at night but they're so tiny they do no harm. And yes, I am careful not to mash them.
DeleteA tree frog keeps you honest, classic!
ReplyDeleteNo room for dishonesty in a tree frog.
DeleteMind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. I get that buzz in my ear once in a while myself...kind of a high pitched whine...like jet engines.
ReplyDeleteLearning not to mind is important --I'm trying. My tone is like air escaping from a slow leak.
DeleteDarwin has some valuable advice. The problem is that he could hop away from the ringing in your ears and get a break. For you it is still there. It is so hard to mask out something that nags. Hopefully it will be better soon.
ReplyDeleteTrue, it's not an easy problem to relax with but I can be pretty lazy when I really put my mind to it. It's early days yet.
DeleteVery beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteAnd a very welcome comment. Obrigado, Ana.
DeleteDarwin Door...er,booger... is one cute little mite. And smart, even if it's only because he is channeling you. Sorry to hear you have tinnitus, and I hope the doctors come up with a fixable cause. If not ... well, getting older is not for sissies, is it? Not a bit.
ReplyDeleteTrue Jenny. Aging draws upon new resources to create a new normal. But I have some confidence in doctors and my own research into high-frequency tonality. Hard part is retraining auditory processing in an old brain. Perhaps I should be tilting at the windmill in the photo --Quixotically. An "impossible dream"?--that's never stopped me yet.
DeleteTilting quixotically -- always, always better than tilting physically! On re-reading my comment I feel I may have sounded flippant or harsh -- believe me, I wasn't intending that. I am aging too. And have one current and one former aging parents. My voice was meant to be rueful. Is there an emoticon for that? And can auditory processing be retrained? I am interested in medical and health related topics.
ReplyDeleteNo flippancy or harshness detected here. I think auditory processing can be retrained --suspect it happens all the time. We hear cars pass, refrigerators running. We live in a world of hums and rumbles and dismiss them as background noise. May take a while but we get used to them.
DeleteTrue; I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks, Geo.
DeleteOh dear! I went back to that earlier post, and wish I hadn't. After a certain unfortunate event some years back, which I remember all too clearly, I now carefully check the door, hinge side, before closing it on the garden at night. Particular care is needed at this time of the year.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling, Tom. I too check those door areas and carry a flashlight when outdoors at night.
DeleteI think tree frogs are just about the cutest little critter around. Some of them laid eggs in our water barrel. If you think the frogs are cute, you should see their itty bitty little tadpoles! But alas, even though I might have spoken to ours, not a single one of them has ever had the decency to respond.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the tinnitus. I've had it for several years, and the frequency at which the constant noise rings in my ears equates to the frequency of my hearing loss. Makes sense, but it was a kind of ah-ha! moment for me when the doctor mentioned it. The noise drove me a little nuts at first, especially because it was initially accompanied by vertigo, which has blessedly gone away, and now I can mostly tune it out. Adult beverages seem to make it louder and more annoying, though. That kinda stinks... I mean why couldn't something like escargots make the noise worse...?
I hope your doc can give you some relief from it.
Susan, thank you so much for your personal account. I woke up one morning in June with tinnitus and have been trying to learn what happened to me. Testimonials help a LOT. I too went back and forth to my GP, and an ENT all summer. What helps most is learning relaxation techniques from a nearby psychotherapist who uses hypnotism and pursuing my own modifications on an audio-oscillator. Friend Willie --pure tone tinnitus at 5k Hz for twenty years--has helped as well. I may do a blog post on the subject after I gain more knowledge of what has happened to us --me, you, Willie et al. Gosh, thanks!
DeleteFrogs look like little buddhas, I think. We don't have any tree varieties here, I am impressed with Darwin's balance. I hope your tinnitus research works out well- cured or ignored, but preferably cured.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lisa. You're right, tree frogs do have a meditative look to them. I suspect they bring good fortune too.
Delete