Tracking The Longbilled Barkbird

When not tracking the wily turm (governments and other corporate irritants prize their oil and pay good bounties on big ones) I like to scan Normaphotos for other enigmatic wildlife.  Resulting essay will examine this commentitous aspect of zoology.  

Deep in the Great Amaryllis Veldt far to the south of here --about 200 feet-- there may be found, by the keen observer of nature, a curious creature that has not to my knowledge been photographed before. To all who have never seen or heard of this remarkable bird (and those who dubiously claim otherwise) my reference to the Longbilled Barkbird is obvious. This creature, known for its bright green eyes, protective coloring and planar physique, peels itself from eucalyptus trees to unfold in search of food.  

While our Barkbird pecks up whatever it finds under itself (usually the wriggling turm), let us turn our attention farther south, to the Amazon or Rio Grande or perhaps this nameless creek another 200 feet away. It is swollen now. Yes, we have had rain but there is a legend among natives that high water indicates Freds. Freds is a giant two-headed frog produced by Rancho Seco Nuclear Power Plant --which has been decommissioning for 40 years and counting. Freds dams up the creek downstream where he sits in it. Whenever the creek dwindles to a trickle, California Weather Service declares a drought, but locals nod knowingly and say, "Well well, Freds has got out again."

Whenever the creek goes dry, we print up posters to get people alert for Freds. Posters are instructive and cautionary. They say, "Attention,  should you encounter a giant two-headed frog that answers to 'Freds', be advised that he is intelligent. Find a ladder immediately and hold a map up where his heads can see it. He will thunder his own way home."

200 feet beyond the creek, you can make out an olive orchard --if you squint-- which will someday produce olive oil. We are hoping operation begins before an intended refit of Rancho Seco Nuclear Power Plant --200 feet even further south-- as a turmoil refinery, intended to produce fuel for this country's new experiment in driverless cars and government.

It is the purpose of this essay to describe the Longbilled Barkbird and I have done so within the limitations of my research. That the subject gives on to oil sources, mutant frogs, politics and the strange enthusiasms of a brash new century only serves to demonstrate that one enigma leads to another and another --and we must keep track of them to seek the truth, despite the stubborn illusion that it's already been found.