The current report from this state begins with the following readout:
It is dated two days ago and predicts wind. At this point of operation, the Portable Meteorological Computing Device assumes a fluid coordinate in space and time. Its range reaches beyond the moment into the past and future. How far, no one knows, but it extends itself as a kinetic force that causes one to make surprising decisions from young adulthood and throughout the future. I shall expatiate further on but for now, let's examine PMCD's record of current California weather emergencies:
RAIN!
YARD PUDDLES!
FORLORN CHRYSANTHEMUMS!
This is, indeed, California weather at its worst. But I also rely on my PMCD for information about interior conditions. I am cautioned emotionally, that a shirt that insists upon being inside out is no reason to believe the world is against me. There are surely several countries that have never heard of me and have no opinion at all. I am also reminded to be polite and eat my vegetables.
There are storms within as well as without. Nightmares are dispelled. This versatile instrument calms me from them and assures me I will never be attacked and eaten by puppies. But reality is not avoided or ignored. Here is a readout warning me not to attend outdoor picnics organized by my relatives:
But hark! The roar recedes. California's storm alert has been downgraded to "fragrant, with a chance of petrichor". I must go lie down.
My hopelessly unscientific mind would certainly shy away from a PMCD. I rely on my local meteorologist - who is running out of creative ways to describe wind.
ReplyDeleteI remember those endless California rains. They always seemed to be sandwiched inbetween endless droughts.
Jon-- Indeed, we seem to be overcompensating for recent dry-spells. And thank you for commenting. I was beginning to fear I'd written something that succeeded in offending the entire world.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, you and PMCD are onto something. Meteorologists have identified with their latest instrumentation a trend in climate change called atmospheric rivers
ReplyDeleteHere in Sonoma we experienced a deluge unlike any we have had before, and it look like we will have more . Thanks to you and
norma for being on the cutting edge!
So, it is a damp there. We get that also. Not much into meteorology myself. I either look out the window and if it is is wet, I figured it must have or is raining. White stuff means snow and if it is bright, the sun must be shinning. That is all I need to know.
ReplyDeleteWillie-- There should be atmospheric riverboats too, with gambling on them!
ReplyDeleteArleen-- Yes, our window is our 24-hour weather channel too!
I generally go by, my sinuses hurt it's going to rain..my joints are aching, it is raining...if the weather man says nice weather don't count on it. Not too scientific but it seems to work.
ReplyDeleteDelores-- Yes! Right side=drop in air pressure; left side=big downpour within 24 hours. You've found another barometer-head in me!
ReplyDelete"FORLORN CHRYSANTHEMUMS"...this made me laugh. Also, I think Arleen put it most succinctly - the window is the best barometer :)
ReplyDeleteOh, dear. You really must cover those poor denuded rose hips. My husband has what he calls a weather bench. It sits outside where we can see it out the back windows. If it's wet, it's raining... white, it's snowing... missing, it's been bloody windy.
ReplyDeleteKeith-- The forlorn mums were those Norma was unable to harvest into vases. But she photographed their bowed blossoms. Strange woman.
ReplyDeleteSusan-- Weather bench is a wonderful meteorologic instrument! Have you considered setting unwanted things upon it on windy days?
We like to judge by the type of mud that arrives via the spaniel. Today: wet and wind dried.
ReplyDeleteIf your shoes are inside out, I think that's a disapproval from the universe.
My PMCD is my right foot. Your PMCD is much better looking.
ReplyDeleteI am so envious of you barometer-heads. Sadly, I can only tell wind velocity in mine, by timing ear entrances and exits.
ReplyDeleteYou mean you don't actually rely on the weatherman...surely you must be kidding dear Geo!
ReplyDelete