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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Return Of Kaboom !

As you may recall, this blog addressed life and diplomatic commerce with inhabitants of the planet, Kaboom, some months ago. Kaboomians were described here as sentient beings possessed of metabolisms far more rapid than our own, explosions in fact. Nowhere has this been better documented than in this photo of the recent Kaboomian-Human "Meet-and-Greet" gala in Anaheim. Here is a photo of the event:

It was of course held outdoors. The Kaboomians were very excited and exploded repeatedly in greeting and good cheer. Humans, whose heads are detectable in lower foreground, were asked how they felt about this emotional display. They invariably answered "What? Ears ringing! What?"

The mayor was interviewed. Asked if he had any regrets, he watched part of his car fly past and said, "Not yet, but this evening has potential." 

Kaboomians kaboomed until dawn, then lifted off, leaving a box containing their National Anthem, adjusted for human hearing. Here it is, courtesy of Youtube:
Various authorities have been consulted in an effort to decode the tune. They variously answer:
"There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge."
"It has a beat and I can can-can to it."
"We are metaphysically predisposed or indisposed, depending upon nearness to explosions."
"No wonder I worry all the time, I'm stupid."
"California has the eighth largest economy on earth. We can fix this!"

But the most poignant and memorable quote to emerge from this encounter with the Kaboomians came from the mayor himself: "When you see part of your car flying at you, the part with chrome letters that say 'Dodge' on it, remember it's not just a brand name, it's really good advice."

32 comments:

  1. The mayor is that very rare thing a person with common sense. As a politician with common sense he is on the critically endangered list. Clone him soon. Please.

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    1. Indeed, E.C., I have heard politicians should be changed often, like diapers --and for the same reason.

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  2. I remember the tune from my youth, 'tra la boom de ay, tra la la boom de ay"...the words somewhat varied from there. Fine people, the Kaboomians, we should encourage further contact.

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    1. I too enjoyed that tune as a kid. It could be shouted and marched to and an imaginary grand parade would appear around me.

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  3. It's rumored that ear plug sales skyrocket during Kaboomian visits. Ear plugs are optional, however, while listening to their delightful National Anthem. Can-canning is mandatory.

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    1. If Ta ra ra Boom de yay was our national anthem I think we'd be a friendlier country, Jon, and dancing the CanCan would confuse our enemies.

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  4. I like explosions...especially multi-coloured explosions...as long as they are outside and end before eleven in the evening. I've heard the Kaboomians are a friendly and law abiding sort so I welcome their celebrations. As for their national anthem I can only remember the version we sang in the school yard...."Ta Ra Ra Boom Dee Eh? My wife had twins today. It happens every day and twice on Saturday." I'm sure there was more but this is all I can remember. Too much exposure to explosions I'm sure.

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    1. I'm pretty certain all modern recordings of the tune are stamped with recommendations about helmets, protective goggles, ear-plugs and cautions regarding possible effects upon child-development.

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    2. Fascinating! Really quite quite fascinating! It seems to me that that these Kaboomian chappies and their other halves must have been around for some time. If Delores' memories are a legitimate basis for historical exploration (and why should they not be? I ask) then the past, high rate of reproduction must be resulting in some interesting current population stats. I trust that exploding birth rates do not necessarily translate into exploding greetings and meetings. If it does, and if it can be transmitted from species to species, then I must hie me away to a hermitage, but making sure I take my blog-receiving facilities with me.

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    3. Excellent precaution, their numbers are booming.

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  5. That symphonion is gorgeous.

    Dodge!

    Dart!

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  6. I too have had the opportunity to observe Kaboomians. They are fascinating creatures but you have to be careful. They can have a mesmerizing effect. You may be unable to stop watching. And do not ever try to capture one. Severe injuries have been reported.

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    1. Very sensible precautions. Also avoid Kaboomians who like to hug.

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  7. Those Kaboomians sure know how to make an exit. It certainly is more impressive than dumb old sparklers.

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    1. Ah, as an old sparkler myself, I'm inclined to agree.

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  8. I could use a Kaboomian visitation in my neck of the country. Summer's nearly gone and I'm sad about that. I need some colorful noise and energy. Tra la la BOOM dee aye.

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    1. If they do drop by, don't let them use the good china or smoke indoors.

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  9. Kaboomians regularly visit this back of beyond. They find it quiet and relaxing here and love to frighten the natives into bringing them sheep to blow up.

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    1. I do not know of any satisfactory way of preparing mutton with explosives. Kaboomians have much to learn regarding culinary art.

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  10. I hope the Kaboomians put their pets inside when the fireworks go off.

    Would they sell the symphonium? My gr-kids would love it.

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    1. I believe the whole of Kaboomian veternary practice consists of dispensing sedatives to pets. Grandkids love a Playskool Symphonium we got our kids 40 years ago --sturdy plastic, don't know if they still make them.

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    2. My mistake! It's called the Fisher Price Music Box Record Player and Amazon sells them.

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  11. Do kaboomians have a habit of using smaller booms to play with the lives of us humans? At least now I know what's happening and that it's not just me.

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    1. Although very polite, they have no concept of lowering the boom...I mean diminishing it (or do I?). All their booms are the same size. Some are just farther away. This is why they keep their visits brief.

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  12. This was fun, as was your previous post on the Kaboomians ~ Although that national anthem is stuck in my head and may make it go KABOOM!!!!! I used to sing it a lot when I was a kiddo. I'm thinking Katy Perry has been in cahoots with the Kaboomians.

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    1. Hello Fundy! Yes, I believe Katy Perry is part of a Earth-Kaboom cultural exchange program.

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  13. Dude, you've gotta put a bunch of your essays (posts) into a book. Nobody, but nobody, writes stuff as clever and wildly imaginative as you.

    Love your Kabooms... as long as they keep their happy explosions away from my car. (It isn't a Dodge, so no telling WHAT I'd do...)

    As for the "Ta ra ra..." song, we sang a teensy bit naughty version of it as kids. I'd forgotten all about it. (Thanks for reminding me how funny and naughty "my friends" were...)

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    1. Thanks Susan. I sort of just write for fun and a book sounds like work. Besides, I don't know if I could fit Kabooms in one.

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  14. Dodge, That last line was perfect!

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  15. We should heed what cars advise. Many, like Chevy Avalanche and other natural disasters, have been warning us for years.

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