Friday, September 13, 2013
Return To Aisle 15!
Had to shop again today. Had qualms about it after our previous visit. I feared, after finding canned dog for sale, some new outrage might present itself. But it is a mystery, and when one dedicates oneself to solving enigmas there is only one course. One sets one's features into a passable semblance of Calvinistic dourness and returns to aisle 15.
I was resolute. Then, as I investigated further and found CANNED CAT (!), resolve eroded into panic. How many other animals would I find tinned and vacuum-packed in the pet section? Such questions are classic ingredients of the permanent jumps and I decided to escape them. I dashed out to the parking lot, roared down the highway. Oblivious to honking motorists, I ignored speed limits and zig-zagged past them, but was seized by better judgement, rationalism. I pulled over to a skidding stop and decided to go back and at least get my car.
Rationalism is a philosophic approach emphasizing reason as the primary source of knowledge. That is, rationalists often find themselves trudging back to supermarkets wondering if they lend themselves to any purposeful study. I love sushi. I considered the sushi chef in the deli department. He doesn't know much English but responds well to compliments to his artistry and my offers to adopt him. He is only 60 years old and would make a fine son, but prefers to work at the supermarket. It would be irrational to attack his place of employment.
Then there's barn cats, yard cats, the analytic truths attached to cats. They assume the shapes of their containers --often very small ones-- and fall asleep. Cats, therefore, do not quite qualify as solids. I welcome cats to our yard, encourage them to hunt and trespass freely, tell them they are pretty kitties. They look at me with heavily lidded eyes and say, "Who cares?"--a rousing battle-cry suitable for any group intent on reforming aisle 15.
I wish them well.