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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Atmospheric Delirium


The picture above is of our garden thermometer. I just emailed it to pen-pal, DB, at Vagabond Journeys in response to his hope that we are surviving this heat wave. I am happy to report that we are, sort of.  I can rely upon shade, air conditioning, beer and partial nudity to furnish a physical analeptic, but my mental condition is one of inescapable delirium. I am moved by his concern and stabilized by his sympathy, but DB lives 2000 miles away and they are having rain.

I remember rain. It rained a week ago and I did this:
Then last night I called up my friend, Willie, who lives in another valley an hour away. He bragged that it was only 106 degrees at his house. Then we checked out each others' mental state, as we have done with no detectable regularity for 47 years:

"Ok, who was that guy?"

"Alexander McCall Smith. What is the geography of Japan?

"Wait a minute, who's asking the questions here?"

"That's a question. Don't you know?"

"Ok, Japan is composed of  four main islands: Honshu, Hokkaido, Honolulu and the Santa Maria."

"What did Mahatma Gandhi think of Western Civilization?"

"He thought it would be a very good idea. Define Commerce."

"It is a town in Texas. It is also their means of revenue. What is revenue?"

"Trading pit bulls for dope in an ever-expanding cycle of meaningless exchange."

"I think we're delirious now. Pumphouse thermometer says 112 F. Lookie:"

"What are you thinking?"

"Who? I've lost track."

"Doesn't matter."

"Ok. You know dice?"

"Like throwing dice, in a game?"

"Uh huh. You throw the dice, add the dots, then turn both die over and add the dots of the opposing sides to that."

"It always totals 14."

"Yeah."

"Definitely delirious."

"Who?" 
 

15 comments:

  1. I hate heat. Which is partially why I hate being in Texas. Two days ago it got up to 110 degrees in my tiny cowtown. Today it's only 100 and I'm thanking the Gods of Hades for small favors.

    I have a friend in Santa Rosa who informed me that it was 102 yesterday. That can't top your 112 but it's still hot for Santa Rosa.

    Heat always induces a delirium-like lethargy in my brain and renders it useless. The Los Angeles smog used to do the same thing.

    The fact that my brain is also often useless in cold weather has nothing to do with my comment or your post.

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  2. I remember loving the heat of summer. Not anymore. However, look at me complaining about our high 80+ temp with flooding rain all around me. No flooding in my neighborhood, but all around.

    Someone must have pissed one of their Gods off. ,

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  3. Southern states are definitely in a wee bit of a heat wave. Keep cool and don't overdo things...like thinking....thinking in the heat hurts.

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  4. It's usually miserably hot and humid here in the Ohio Valley, but it's been 80s and rainy all week and supposed to be next week. I'm sure that will change, though...
    If only we had a/c in our car, I'd be so much happier...but at least we have a car! :)

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  5. I wouldn't call it delerium. It sounds like good old bedrock Merican logic to me.

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  6. I thought it always equaled 15 ...

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  7. In summer I do my very best to turn into a troll and only come out at night.
    MS loves heat, and thrives on it, so I loathe and despise it. Your temperatures would have me a sad and soggy mess.
    I do hope you get some relief soon.
    Your mental state sounded incredibly sharp given the heat. I can only mumble (and swear) well before those temperatures.

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  8. I love heat, but (or: because) it makes me a bit lethargic. Can't "do" that much.
    I like rain, because it clears the air, sounds soft, and waters the plants.
    In Germany we are looking for something evidently lost in this year - its name has been 'Sun', if I remember right. Lots of grey instead, floods that are unusual in their vigour (the trains have to make vast detours because of broken rails for weeks).
    So: at the moment, I would prefer a little bit of heat.

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  9. Glad to see you're surviving the heat wave. I've always wondered, does a "dry heat" at 106 feel "hotter" that a "humid heat" at, say, 90? I'd imagine it feels more like oven-heat. I've just always been curious.

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  10. :-)

    I rarely LOL, but when I do, I usually find that I am at your blogsite.

    Nicely done, Geo and Willie.

    Pearl

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  11. That thermometer wouldn't have done you much good in Death Valley today--you need one calibrated for the Apocalypse. We're avoiding the heat. It's a pleasant evening with a nice breeze and in the 60s and the mosquitoes about ate me alive on my jot outside so I cam back in to read blogs...

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  12. Lord, those kinds of temperatures suck for both man and beast. Makes fixing breakfast easier, though. Eggs are probably cooking as soon as the chickens lay 'em.

    Good post, dude. I hope you get some relief from that heat real soon, before your brain turns to mush. (Well, MY brain would turn to mush...)

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  13. Good grief Geo., that's just cruel of the weather gods. It's been pretty miserable here, with the temp and humidity vying for top spot, but to my knowledge we haven't topped 96. Ten degrees more than that and I'd give up. Stay as cool as possible and may the cold beer be with you.

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  14. It usually gets up past a hundred here (Portland) for a couple days in the summer. I contend with it through the evaporation of my copious tears. If there is a hell, it's going to feel like Washington, D.C.

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