Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Insomnia And Otis Tarda, Reducks
In response to Lady Austan's request for further datary work on this theme, I've attacked it again. There are two other reasons. One is leap year. To students of time this will be old stuff, but one never tires of astronomical arithmetic does one? Earth's solar orbit consumes 365.25 days, so every now and then we collect what's right of the decimal into an intercalary day, which causes February 28th to go on for about three weeks. Despite its annoying interruption of our sleep patterns, we celebrate this day by shouting encouragement at astrometrists. This is known as hortatory horology. Other reason is my neighbors. Interrupted sleep made me mislabel my previous post. It is only by wildest coincidence its title has anything to do with the hapless Bustard. I meant to post an interview with my interesting neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Tarda. I shall do so now.
Otis: What the...?
Insomnia: It's really late, Geo. What's wrong?
Geo.: Can I borrow...
Otis and Insomnia: No!
Geo.: I have beer.
Otis: Ok, what do you want?
Geo.: Tell me about your last name.
Otis: Tarda is an apocape of a much longer and fairly common family name in the old country.
Geo.: And why did they immigrate?
Otis: My people were religious dissidents. They questioned the Trinity.
Geo.: Father, Son, Holy Ghost?
Otis: No, Inheritance of debt, Abolition of ego and Extension of credit. They were Catholic.
Insomnia: It was just a really lousy country.
Geo.: Now your name, Insomnia, is intriguing. Does it have special cultural significance?
Insomnia: No, my parents lived next to a research facility that developed products for the maturity-impaired.
Geo.: Such as?
Insomnia: Motorcycle mufflers that don't muffle, high-output sub-woofers. My parents never got any sleep.
Otis: So everybody left the shores of the old country, but few made it here.
Otis and Insomnia: They were not given boats.
Geo: And how do they celebrate Leap Year in the old country?
Otis: By the running of the Bustards. It coincides very roughly with Hogmanay and March Madness. All the birds and townfolk run down the road dribbling basketballs under dorsiferous barrels of burning tar.
Insomnia: Many never come back!
Otis: Anything else, Geo.? It's the middle of the night for heaven's sake.
Geo.: Well, since you mention it, could I borrow...
Otis and Insomnia: NO!!!