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Saturday, November 24, 2012

Whack



In the illustration above, I am at a gathering in the beautiful home of people close to me. It is spacious and likable. I like my house too but, from certain angles, it looks like it crawled out of a hole and is up to no good.  My home is small by comparison and sometimes out of whack, so I am happy and refreshed by this gathering. I post myself beside an open window and utter imbecilities.

Newly emerged from a protracted state of maladjustment (during which I saw specialists! Had procedures!) I resolved not to talk about it. I would not permit myself! I say instead:

"Basmati? Yes, I love all sports cars."
"There is a theory that hummingbirds drink espresso all night."
"Until television, I had no idea cats had two ears."
"From Barbie Dolls children learn to wiggle their heads until they fall off."
"After much thought, I voted for him because he's cute as a button."

Then I am alone, beside a window, pondering the origin of whack. Whack goes back, way back, before Miami Vice (in which Don Johnson played Jed Clampett), before fashion and confection fused, back to when our leaders shambled up to our holes, full of strange enthusiasms, and demanded marksmanship.

"You can't make us do anything," we grunted. "We're out of whack!"

Then we'd wag our hairy heads at them until they fell off.  At this point, I realize I have garrulated and a still, small voice from there or here taunts: "Oh great, what if everybody else was like you?"

To which I can only reply, there is nobody else like me --even I can't always do it.

You have to be in whack.


14 comments:

  1. I would assume you are right or whack or what ever would make you happy.

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  2. Sounds like you were feeling a bit whacked that day. What a strange photo.....you look like a ghost.

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  3. Thanks for providing me with some desperately needed smiles.

    The fact that your house, from certain angles, "Looks like it crawled out of a hole and is up to no good" is a priceless description. I can identify with that.

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  4. I love retrospective pieces like this. Thank you for sharing sir.

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  5. Arleen-- Vernacular is nebulous about "whack" and "whacking". I'm afraid we won't have a solid definition until it is included in the Olympics.

    Delores-- I see what you mean. Human body is about 70% water. Mine is often in the form of mist.

    Jon-- Thanks! At a certain age, houses seem to brood a lot and plan outrages. They crave attention.

    Keith-- Most kind. And thank YOU.

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  6. Hi George,
    I got a kick out of this post.
    I feel out of whack more often than I like, but today I am feeling very in whack, I'm happy to say!

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  7. Hmmm, let's see, since our grandchildren shared their stomach flu with me, I have definitely been OUT of whack for a couple days, and since I'm feeling better, that must mean I'm now back IN whack, right? Veddy interesting.

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  8. Lorna-- Thank you! Sometimes a kick will propel one into whack. But I usually land wrong.

    Susan-- Stomach flu certainly qualifies as a protracted state of maladjustment. Glad to hear you're in whack again!

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  9. Well! That says it all as far as I'm concerned!

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  10. I have been both in and out of whack several times.

    I don't like to brag, but there's significant effort involved.

    Pearl

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  11. Austan-- Thanks! But as soon as we've said it all, there's more. Good thing too.

    John-- I like it too, but you can see I didn't have my glasses on so it's blurry.

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  12. Pearl-- All metaphysical border disputes demand great effort. You're doing fine!

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  13. This

    "There is a theory that hummingbirds drink espresso all night."

    made my eyebrows hike up. I think it's true.

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