After an evening phone call and encouragement from Willie, I decided to write this play:
Turtle: Here I am, a little turtle on a little log to which the rest of the world is anchored by a little steel cable.
[Several hours pass. Not unusual for a turtle to go hours, days or a lifetime between thoughts. This can be condensed for the audience by projecting a photo-montage of scenes from the Department of Motor Vehicles.]
Turtle: I think I should stay here and guard this cable. It looks important. I believe it IS important --that the world stay put. Probably.
Turtle: Hello. What are you? What are you doing and why haven't you got any head?
Duck: I'm a duck and I do so have a head. It just disappears when I'm preening.
Duck: Preening is what ducks do when not dabbling.
Turtle: What's dabbling?
Duck: Dabbling's when we turn upside down and only our butts stick out. Here, I'll send you a psychic picture!
Turtle: Amazing! Maybe I...hey! I've got something in my shell. I'll stick it out.
Duck: Ooooh I see it. It's your left leg!
Turtle: Well, imagine that! What's it doing?
Duck: I have been many places and seen many strange things. I believe it's doing Yoga.
Turtle: Oh. Well, if you're so smart, maybe you know this cable keeps the world from floating off and getting in all sorts of trouble.
Duck: I knew that! It's not just a cable, it's a teleological attractor and it anchors the universe.
Turtle: So why's it vibrating?
Duck: Where the cosmos quivers
And each ripple indicates a
Distant ocean storm, in soil
Edged white where the pond
Dries down, ducks, herons
And all marsh birds in fennel
And salsify read the sea!
Turtle: Wow, a soliloquy!
Turtle: Where do you learn this stuff?
Duck: We fly across the world through the air and observe. It's dangerous because there's no hunting limit on duck.
Turtle: How do you survive?
Duck: We disguise ourselves as airborne bowling pins. By the time the hunters, who are also all bowlers, race off to rent bowling shoes, we're long gone.
Turtle: Wow. Ok, see ya!
Duck: See ya! [exeō,Duck]
[Enter Big Swimming Turtle]
Big Swimming Turtle: Hello.
Turtle: Hello. You're a really big turtle!
Big Swimming Turtle: What makes you say that?
Turtle: Well, you look way bigger than I do.
Big Swimming Turtle: That's because you're farther away.
Turtle: Ah, and you're right up close to yourself.
Big Swimming Turtle: Yeah, so what're you doing on that log?
[Several years pass, indicated to audience by showing excerpts from PBS fund drive]
Turtle: I think I'm doing Yoga.