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Thursday, August 23, 2018

Darwin Doorbooger on Security Patrol


Darwin Doorbooger patrols the index of time, event horizon and memory along the pumphouse  door sill and sidereal mentation. I rely on him a lot and am glad I didn't mash him years ago.




During a 1948 speech by Harry Truman in Bremerton, Washington, a supporter famously yelled, "Give 'em hell, Harry!"

Four years later, my father recounted the quote at the supper table and I was enthralled. I asked, "Daddy, what did Hairy say?"

"Hmmm. Something like, 'that's what I'm going to do'."

"And he got to be President, right?"

"Yes, son. Still is. President Harry Truman."

"Don't he have a middle name?"

" Just 'S."

I was pitched into deep thought, even for a pre-literate child. Hairy Ass Truman? Sounded to me like one dangerously tough guy --if his parents named him Hairy Ass...

But Darwin Doorbooger gently interrupted. "Geo., I just turned around and looked at the padlock. It's a long crawl down and, happily for you, this doorway isn't getting any shorter. Oh yeah, and neither one of us is a toad, ok?"
Then Eisenhower got elected. Hey, Darwin, slow down! Hold it, rest a moment. Timeline's going too fast.

"Aw, ok."
"Ok, Darwin, hold still. We're in the 1950s now and have a new president. When Truman presided, I couldn't read. Then, Ike came in and, like magic, I could --and write too! I still like Ike and am forever grateful."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's move on to the weird stuff, Geo. On to the 60s when Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty started cross-dressing and waging 'undeclared wars' and piloting international belligerence."

"Can't we skip that part, Darwin, please?"

"Only if you play the song --you know, the SONG!"

"Ok."


Roger Miller, "My Uncle used to love me but she died"

"OK! Now tell what you just went through."

"Dear Readers, Youtube changed all the stuff you have to do to put a clip on Blogger, overnight. It took me  a whole bottle of pinot noir and ALL my native savvy to untangle their improvement. I went to Youtube, found Roger and did all the usual things. Didn't work. However, if you find yourself in a similar position, take heed of the Blogger icon on their "share" bit. Hit that and you'll make progress. I forget a lot of what I did and all of what I said but believe success was mine. We'll know for sure when I hit "publish".

Darwin got tired of waiting and hopped off to eat bugs.

And, everybody, keep on the sunny side.


Saturday, August 18, 2018

Interview With A Time Traveler

[Please excuse accidental publishing of this post earlier this afternoon with only a couple sentences completed. I'm still in recuperation mode and doped to the gills. Wheee! Sorry, that just slipped out.]
 
I found the time traveler at my own kitchen table. He didn't look well.  I asked, "What's wrong?"


TT: I've been ill lately, recuperating on a diet of vegetables, mainly.
Geo.: So I see. What sort of illness?
TT: Oh, the kind timetravelers get when they stop any where or any when and try to settle down.
Geo.: How long have you been traveling?
TT: 68 years, all forward. 
Geo.: No Backward?
TT: Oooh I wish. You need superluminal speed to send anything back in time and I'm just not up to it.
Geo.: What about positrons?
TT: Antiparticles of electrons?
Geo: Or electrons going back in time. I've never heard a firm answer. Both descriptions work in physical calculations.
TT: Explain.
Geo.: We send electrons as modulated electromagnetic waves into the future all the time --radio, tv etc. Why not generate positrons, modulate their wavelength and send them into the past?
TT: Because, in the grace and cruelty of time, there are some things we're not meant to do.
Geo: That's absurd, we could repair so much past damage!
TT: Typical thought of a backwoods hick! What was your zip code in your home town, Geo.?
Geo.: Uh, e-i-e-i-o.
TT: And what is your current occupation?
Geo.: Teaching applied hornet-dodging at our south door.
TT: And what are your most ancient ancestors?
Geo.: Fossil remains on primordial plains.
TT: And if you could send a message to them --perhaps to improve their hygiene. What would that be?
Geo.: Uh, lavatories?
TT: These are people who have only mineral content now. If you were similarly fossilized, what would you expel in a lavatory?
Geo.: Lava!
TT: Excuse me, I must be vegetating on now. 



Monday, August 13, 2018

Quote Care



[Traveling Wilburys "Handle (me) With Care"]

It's been a rough summer. I'm home though, sitting up and walking around but anything sustained tires me, puts me back in bed. So this little post will be about quotes. I wanted to quote the Traveling Wilburys ["I still have some love to give"] but decided Roy Orbison's supernaturally beautiful voice should be heard --hence clip. Truely, much of the song applies right now. Please enjoy it.

There is another point, somewhat deliriously apposite, that involves the pitfall of inaccurate quotation. We should always make sure we get the spelling right and do justice to another's thought. This morning's Cryptoquote at THREADBENDER was from excellent writer, Amy Tan: 
 "You see what power is --holding someone else's fear in your hand and showing it to them."

You don't want to leave the "f " out of that.