It was my birthday, my 68th escape from spiritual detonation. I was having lunch and there was a keyboard on the table. There was also a half-glass full of Woodbridge Pinot Noir. Let us draw a curtain over that inevitable spillage and examine the enigma of progress.
What you see in the photo above is the meeting of two interconnected technologies from about 40 years ago. They are keyboards. Top one is my 100 year-old Remington typewriter, which I used to submit poems and articles to a local "New Age" magazine and was told by the editor that if I was serious about writing I would get a computer and blah blah. I last used the old Remington Typewriter to get published elsewhere --most happily at NSA, National Stereoscopic Association; wrote historical articles and had a great time on the old thing. Manual typewriters are always played fortissimo, and you can spill anything on them, even glue or cement, then hose them down and they work fine. Not so with electronic keyboards. Spill wine on them and they stay half-swacked forever.
So we went out that afternoon and bought a new laptop. I was happy; it was my birthday.
We took it home and I started it up. An operating system introduced herself as "Cortana" and guided me in a nearly human female voice toward activating my new laptop. It worked. Then, after shutting it down and enjoying another libation, I tried reactivating the system. Couldn't even access the device!
I know one prominent definition of idiocy is trying the same procedure over and over again in hopes of producing a different result. However, I returned the new laptop and exchanged it for one exactly like it. My faith knows no bounds and rationalism no longer applies. When data meets pinot noir and goes to dash and scatteration, I find my own reason impaired. I write this post on the second exchange.
Yes, Cortana has misled me as few people have --she is so friendly for an operating system-- but I believe my pleas and tears have ignited some compassion in her. She at least allows me to reaccess this system to make more mistakes --and I still can't use my webcam!