I live in a crazy old farmhouse. It has wall-phones in the back porch from various eras. Some are quite old and I'm cautious about what era I phone --sometimes a pressure from without can upset an equilibrium within. One needs help, direction --directory assistance, yes, but sometimes one needs more. In the photo below, I am dialing a three-digit number familiar to everyone in the USA and Canada born after 1930: " Information. What city, please?"
"Are you a Chuck Berry fan, sir?"
"Always and forever, but...what does that...?"
"Please listen to the tutorial while I connect your call, Geo.:"
Chuck Berry- Memphis Tennessee
"Information. What city, please?"
"Wait a minute, how'd you know my name?"
"Because you once called from a Paso Robles filling station in 1969 when you misplaced Norma's phone number that year and I recognize your voice. How may I direct your call?"
"You, you're the same operator...47 years later?"
"Sir, I have been the only information operator on the North American Continent since 1930."
"So that's why you always sound the same?"
"Of course. Will you be needing further information? I do have calls waiting."
"How could that be?"
"It's because I know everything. All information comes from me, and I know why you called."
"I called because I have the jumps, ma'am."
"I know, Geo., North Korea sent a missile over the Superbowl on Sunday. Ask your question."
"Does the United States Military intend to invade my family's country of origin?"
"You mean Portugal?"
"Yes, specifically the Azores."
"They did at one time, 1940-41, under War Plan Gray. The idea was to set up bases behind Navy blockades (oooh, you should get a load of War plan Red ), but this is classified information. However, I'll go back to some year nobody cares about and declassify it. One moment please....yes, the year all the Ford Pintos exploded, 1974."
"What have you, ma'am?
"This map, Geo. I'm rather pleased with it:"
"I simply changed the photographic vista from nautical to aerial . Lighter shades of blue were subsequently seen as clouds instead of shallows. This took the Azores from islands in the sea to islands floating around in the sky."
"Amazing, so my great grandparents descended from the sky?"
"Information depends upon on accuracy, Geo. Whatever I say becomes true. But right now I have other information to address."
"Like changing the first line of Hamlet from "Hey, remember that time in Denmark when I got so nervous?" from flashbacks to something better. Then I have to convince all life that they own the world equally with all other life. But most of all, right now, I have a search to conduct in 1959. Let's see: south side; ridge; 1/2 mile from Mississippi Bridge. Should be no problem...Hello, Marie?"
"(sotto voce) Bye Geo."