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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

On Evil

In my great sense of urgency to write up this spiritual insurrection, I accidentally started it on another blogsite --"Gardening With Geo.-- an unsettling error which caused me to hit "publish" instead of whatever I should have hit. Excuse me. Here is the full text which I type while my mouth recovers.

What is evil? Is it the extra-conceptual opposite of good? Sure why not? Or is it? I have spent decades searching for a concise definition of extra-conceptual to no avail. Reason for that is the universe is a collective of all things, conceptual and extra-conceptual. Nobody knows what extra-conceptual is, so I will dismiss the term and get to the point. Point is, Norma handed me a chocolate and...

I read this on the label! 

Someone had infused my chocolate with CHILI !!! This is not only extra-conceptual, but extra-canonical  and extra-confusing as well. It was editorially excised from scripture by the Septuagint regarding Seth's first child, grandson of Adam and Eve. He lived a long life, over 900 years, and kept his mouth shut, however there remains one scrap of apocryphal record: "Mixeth thou not chili with chocolate, lest thy tongue cleave to thy palate and allow only utterance of 'Gna, gna, gna!'"

Understandably, the Septuagint was clearing out any evils that might compete with the snake in Eden, but they could have retained the chocolate-chili line as a cautionary measure. I am a modern man, who would probably NEVER --unless dared to by other snickering boys-- accept treats from a talking serpent, but willingly ingests things handed to me by my wife. Hmmmm, I have just had a revelation that demands I stop my sermon here and leave this weekend's service to some other substitute pastor. Go thou and do likewise.


30 comments:

  1. I quite like chilli chocolate.
    What gives me the horrors is a rumour that vegemite has been added to chocolate. I understand it also features caramel. Eeeeeuw. That is just plain evil.

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    1. Yikes, vegemite and cloying caramel! Evil takes many forms. Perhaps to remind us there are fates worse than chilli --which cannot harm the pure of heart but beats the heck out of me.

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  2. Evil lurks everywhere tonight, Geo. I accidentally hit the wrong "button" and lost my initial comment. I'll try again:

    I was admittedly worried when I saw EVIL on your gardening blog. I thought perhaps you had encountered a garden serpent bearing questionable gifts. I suppose it's safe to accept chili chocolates from wives (or reasonably safe.....) but never accept advice or gifts from snakes in gardens.

    Question: did you need an antacid after consuming the chili dark chocolate??
    A rather stupid question - but inquiring minds want to know.

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    1. I required a beer-charged fire extinguisher and am nearly restored to metaphysical equilibrium.

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  3. I also have just lost my comment, without pressing any buttons; so I'll start again and hope the serpent that may be lurking hereabouts has digested enough comments.

    I like the use of the word "Infused" on the packaging, as if the process has lifted chilli chocolate onto a whole new spiritual plane. For me, chilli chocolate ranks about as low as garlic fudge.

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    1. Tom, I too have had comments disappear at a couple sites I follow --it just seems to happen sometimes. Have made no changes in comment moderation or procedure here. Maybe chilli chocolate and garlic fudge have united in cyber-mischief!

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  4. I like chocolate. Every chocolate. Period.

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    1. An admirable and pleasant certainty. Brava!

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  5. Oh no, the Chilli bean has infiltrated chocolate. Thankfully, you found the antidote in beer.

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    1. Hopefully beer will always be there to help us cope with modern innovations.

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  6. I do love that first photo! It makes me smile every time I look at it! Hats off to Norma, and to her willing subject :)

    I have an extra-conceptual digestive system, so - no chili for me. Even if it does come in my favourite delivery system. And I am still shuddering from reading about Tom's nemesis, garlic fudge.

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    1. Norma is my stabilizer and example, my royalty, and I, indeed, am her "willing subject"! Garlic Fudge sounds like one of those 1950s movie monsters that consumes New York --or maybe a '60s Rock band.

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  7. Evil brings about destruction and death and this is an example of how two fine ingredients that bring much joy to the palate can, if misused, bring about the destruction of both. Be careful out there, boys and girls. We live in a dangerous world.

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    1. Sage, I can only endorse and second your excellent cautionary comment.

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  8. Sounds like a bad surprise. Maybe Norma confused this chocolate with "Salty Caramel Chocolate" (which I find a bit confusing too).
    Anyhow: Evil. I think we saw it lately in Paris. Elsewhere too, of course - there is always Yin and Yang, and always a point when it turns.
    From Chili chocolate to Chili con Carne with a dash of chocolate (it really works).

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    1. Dear Brigitta, yes, Yin/Yang --always an element of one in the other. It is always turning, isn't it? I shall try a dash of chocolate in my chili con carne.

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  9. Chocolate, like vodka, is best taken straight, at least to my palate, though I appreciate aficionados will differ. I'm still chuckling at the immensity of your stare!

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    1. Agreed, Tom. And everything I know about staring I learned from old Bela Lugosi films. Dracula made Renfield eat flies!

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  10. I LOVE dark chocolate. I like chili a lot. I do not want the two of them mied together. Yuck! As for a definition of evil I have mine. Evil is the intentional causing harm of any kind. What do you think?

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    1. I think Primum non nocere ('First, do no harm) is a phrase that extends beyond bio-ethics into all areas of morality. You raise an excellent point.

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  11. Hmmm, explain mole sauce then, Sherlock! Seriously, chocolate lends its self to odd couplings, salt and chocolate ferinstance.....though chili may be stretching it somewhat. Anyway, hold fast to that which is good, as some book suggests.

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    1. Well, as a retired gardener, I know moles (pronounced 'mo-lay" or "malaise" in this state) are insectivores and any sauce made from them or their secretions would probably vary widely according to their local bug-diets --very much like the different sorts of honeys produced by bees in California as opposed to, say, the Sussex Downs.

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  12. Replies
    1. True, I had to eat 5 or 6 before declaring them an excusable wickedness.

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  13. In today's world, it seems just about everything is being "infused" with something or other. Peruse the aisles of the package goods store, and marvel at the plethora of potent potables now infused with everything from apples to hot cinnamon to bacon. You name it, you can probably find it. Same for potato chips. Some of the flavors now offered for sale don't even sound palatable. (But I will confess to a certain affection for the crab chips...)

    But chocolate infused with chili? I dunno about that... I think I'll stick with coconut.

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    1. You're right, of course. It's a more complicated issue than good or evil. I have closely and watched the rise of J&D's Foods in Seattle for some years and am full of hope (Dude Hope!). Dave Lefkow and Justin Esch have worked under the motto, "Making everything taste like bacon since 2007", proving there ARE angels involved in this age of infusion.

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  14. It's only evil if you see an actual demon while eating the chocolate. Otherwise, you're good.

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    1. Amy, I have never had the distinction between evil and good so clearly defined and appreciate it. Truth is, I have got used to chili-infused chocolate this week and rather like it now, but will quit if I see a demon. Thanks!

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  15. I have had only one chili/chocolate bar that I liked. It was TOO hot and the flavors mixed well. But I have tried two others that were not good at all.

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    1. My recommendation so far is limited to Lindt's, which is the chocolate in the picture.

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