Saturday, October 25, 2014
I Have Married Once
"Existence is elsewhere."— André Breton, The Surrealist Manifesto.
When my wife and I are shopping, I will go off and get chips, beer, coffee, select a dinner wine and thumb magazines while she remains in the dreary grain aisle. I'll go back and try to help.
"I'm looking for brown (something-something) basmati," she'll say, and I look too, then give up after ten seconds.
"There's no such thing." I tell her, "It does not exist."
I do not say, "existence is elsewhere", because that means another grocery store, another search, one that somehow becomes even more futile because she's added "jasmine" to the name of what is not.
Pretending to know an unknown allows me to go home, read my new magazine, refresh myself with man-groceries in a way Andre Breton could not.
M. Breton was married three times.
malfeasant miscreant who authored this outrage. I have cleared the monster from my computer but it required the sacrifice of a folder to do so, as well as 2 deep circuit scans of all my poor old HP's systems.
Ah, I have recovered her photos! You are safe to view, yes, to read this bit of triumph. All scans turn up negative as I write and retrieve. The machine is clean. Surely, M. Breton, surrealist as he was until I was well into my teens, predicted such outrages. My fingers are tired. I triumph! It is almost Dimanche --my sermon! Go in peace!