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Monday, February 17, 2014

Update On The 16-second Gravel Dance

I have been trying to determine, with geometric logic and sound empirical observation, whether it takes longer to rid my body of this virus than it does getting a fart out of a boiler suit. This is an enigma that occupied me and other gardeners when we were holed up in garages overhauling machines --back before I retired. We found stepping outside and dancing for 16 seconds in gravel would accomplish olfactory miracles, but would it work on the flu?

Five years ago I performed and posted  the therapeutic 16-second gravel dance and got 180 views in a single year. I hoped it would become famous and I would be lauded as a great healer and deodorizer. 180 views seemed to me to be a promising start. Now, four years later, it has gathered 73 more views and has doubtless done humanity a world of good. Observe:

 

As the astute observer may attest, I don't have a boiler suit on in this clip, so the purpose of the dance is purely medicinal. If I can shake viruses out with these contortions and convolutions, I shall consider the effort worthwhile and the dancing sick of the world will be improved. This is a certainty. I have been studying this method for many years, have been around a long time and know lots of authorities so knowledgeable they don't even exist yet.

So there. Stay well.

27 comments:

  1. If dancing the Tarantella can drive out the toxins from the bite of a poisonous spider, I would imagine that the 16-second Gravel Dance could extract a virus.

    At the very least, it will undoubtedly scare the spiders away.

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    1. Indeed, I have been spiderless since 2009!

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  2. Dancing is magical. I don't know what that was but dancing? Magical.

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    1. My dancing is like impressionist painting; you have to stand very far back to appreciate its full beauty --also safer.

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  3. How this clip never went viral, I'll never know :)

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    1. I guess the dance made it go antiviral, Keith.

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  4. This could catch on. I'll have to wait till the two feet of snow melts to try it, but it certainly looks like something that could keep the buzzards away.

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    1. Dance hasn't been tested on buzzards yet --but it could work.

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  5. Anything to do with the expression of life is bound to be healing....I got a good healing chuckle out of your 'dance'...come to think of it, I may have lost a spider or two as well.

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    1. "...expression of life is bound to be healing." Thank you, Delores. I needed that.

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  6. Good Lord, but medical science is a wonderful thing.

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    1. Yes, but will "big pharma" hijack my research?

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  7. Oh,
    Geo, you are a funny man.
    Feel better soon, real soon.

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    1. Okey dokey, but you must feel better too. That's still the deal.

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  8. Sorry you are sick, Geo. Hope you are feeling better. I think I confused this dance with the, "there's a bee in immediate vicinity and I haven't been stung in quite some time what if I've developed an allergy" dance. I guess that explains why I always felt so great after the bee went away. I credited the wine but now see the truth.

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  9. That's a great title for my dance! Thanks!

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  10. lol........now if The Cheaper Half's mindset and attitude rode along like this it'd make MY life a whole lot easier!

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    1. Kind Helena, I am overjoyed my dance has hopped the pond!

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  11. I smiled and smiled, but when Norma said "You can stop now," I did a loud laugh that scared my dog. I hope you feel better soon! The flu takes ages. and ages. and ages for the body to clear. Stoopid virus.

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    1. Thank you, Stephanie. Frightening dogs is a secondary effect of my dance that hasn't been fully researched. I welcome the info and your good wishes.

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  12. Yes, you can stop now is a phrase I have been told many times.

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    1. I rely on Norma to tell me when to stop all sorts of things. It's important!

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  13. Well, of course, she had to tell you when to stop. Otherwise, you would've keep hopping 'til you dropped. And that would have totally screwed up the results of your experiment, dude.

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  14. Yes, the government of Norma is kindly and benevolent. I dance. I obey and do not drop, not yet anyway.

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