" Cardiological Associates. How may I direct your call?"
" This is Geo. I had a pacemaker change-out this week and need to talk with a doctor."
" Which doctor performed the procedure?"
" Electrophysiologist. Big Irishman."
" He's busy in the basement today. Perhaps the A.C.N-P. could help. I'll put you through."
"Acute Care Nurse-Practitioner. What seems to be the problem?"
" My upper body's turning purple."
" Anything else?"
" Yes, I'm turning yellow in some spots too."
" Well, Geo., I wouldn't worry too much. You're a thin man, so you show fluid discolorations that larger people seldom notice because they're absorbed into adipose tissue. Are you in pain?"
" Not especially, just a bit around the incision..."
" Hold on, they need me downstairs, Geo. I'll connect you with another department."
"This is Herpetology. How can I help you?"
"I'm thin. I'm turning different colors. Is that bad?"
"Depends. Where are you?"
"About 10 miles south of you. Should I come in? I can drive ok."
"No, no, I meant what's around you right now."
"I'm in the back yard at a table. There's a broom shrub blooming and I'm surrounded by periwinkle. It's quite pleasant really."
"Hmm, periwinkle flowers purple. And the broom blossoms, what color?"
"As I thought, your operation stimulated old limbic brain layers. In your ancestry, any Iguanas?
"Maybe. Maybe real far back."
"Doesn't matter, I suspect you're from a chameleon clade and it's affecting your chromatasphores on a cellular level. Doesn't matter if you're thin either."
"No, I'm quite short and stocky but it happened to me once. I was standing on a street corner, admiring the sky, when I turned blue and white."
"Was the condition dangerous?"
"Only when people tried to stuff letters down my mouth."