Monday, December 16, 2013
Lesser-Known Christmas Stories, Part One
"Hey, new kid," he was asked. "Who do you think you are?"
They crowded closer. "Alexander what?"
"Alexander...uh...The Great." He replied, and was promptly beaten up.
Alexander went home and asked his mother how long it was until Christmas break. Since the year was 350 BC, she told him it'd be quite a while, but she'd take him to see the still-Pagan Santa when they went shopping in December. So he endured the beatings and dirty looks from his peers for some months.
Finally, Mrs. The Great went holiday shopping and placed little Alexander on the department store Santa's knee. Santa said: "Ho ho ho! What do you want under the tree this year?"
"I want an army. A big army!!!"
Since Alexander had been a good boy all year, his return to school was well-rewarded. Bullies converged upon him and taunted him. He warned them to stop or he'd beat them up.
"Oh yeah, Alexander The Great NOT , you'n what army?"
"That one." Said Alexander as the thunderous clatter of arms and hooves built up behind him. The rest is history. History carried the surname: Antiochus The Great; Pompey The great; Ashoka The Great; Catherine The Great; Peter The Great.
It was not until 1925 that the family name was legally changed to Gatsby.