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Sunday, September 29, 2013

Report On The New Bay Bridge!

I began September's posts with a visit to San Francisco while the Bay Bridge was closed. It was closed for five of the two days we spent there so the new span could be aimed properly. We took the old Golden Gate Bridge instead, because it was built between 1933 and 1937, before modern bridge problems were invented, but this past weekend we decided to try the new one. We didn't know what the new bridge looked like exactly so we kept alert for the most futuristic sort of construction. We found it in Vallejo.

We figured it was just the sort of architecture we were after, rising and falling and looping as it did in the general direction of the sea. I am pleased to report there were many brightly uniformed young people (probably Starfleet Academy cadets from Fort Point/Presidio, although why their vests read, "Six Flags Discovery Kingdom", is a great enigma) waving and capering and welcoming us to the entrance. I couldn't quite hear the encouragements they screamed but appreciated them nonetheless. I took a determined grip on the steering wheel, confident I could press enough buttons on the steering column to be equal to the ascent, even though I haven't read the owners' manual yet.
We performed a series of convolutions based on unfamiliar 8-dimensional physical principles. I pressed all the buttons finding, among other wonders, the "inertial dampener activator" and "shield integrity reinforcer". If you are not in a new car, I suggest you reroute all emergency power to the main deflector dish --a trick I learned from former Sacramentan, Geordi LaForge. This was roughly our trajectory after negotiating two loop-de-loops and several progressively more vigorous launch-ramps in Vallejo:


The flight over San Pablo Bay, Crockett, Rodeo, Berkeley and Mount Sutro consumed .02 seconds at warp one. Braking thrusters engaged automatically and we touched down near Daly City, sometime in the early 21st century.

 We backtracked to Ocean Beach and were just in time for our youngest boy's 34th birthday party, which included friends and family...
...and an inferno-capped cake, of which we were all frightened except for one brave man!

I gave him a field promotion to Captain. Norma hugged everybody.

And, next morning, with sensors on visual --because no fog at all-- ...


...we took the Golden Gate home.


24 comments:

  1. That was one helluva bridge to manuever. Hopefully your seat belts were firmly secure and you didn't eat anything before embarking on those nasty-looking loops.

    If a birthday cake can blaze that brightly with only 34 candles, I would hate to see what my birthday cake would do. I'd need the San Francisco Fire Department to extinguish it.

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    1. Jon, the brave candle-lighter, whose hand you see in the pic, is an Inspector with the SFPD --closest thing I could find to a fireman on short notice!

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  2. You are a braver person than I, George. In the past few years, I have avoided going over any bridge that spans anything larger than a small stream.

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    1. I may have exaggerated our 20-mile launch from the Six Flags rolleycoaster. We really took the reliable old Golden Gate into SF too.

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    1. It was, Pearl. I'm lucky to know some really lovely people there.

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  4. I enjoyed this circuitous trip of yours, even though there were times--or maybe especially because there were times--I didn't know if you were coming or going, and by which route or means of transport! What a trip!

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    1. As my treasured accomplice on many circuitous trips, you know directional disorientation is a sign of a successful one. You honor me!

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  5. I need to get an awesome car like yours. My car doesn't even have a main deflector dish. We are so 21st century, it's very depressing.
    Congrats on your son's promotion!
    :)

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    1. Well, in truth, you have to pretend about the deflector dish. I like to imagine our old VW Bus has one. The new car has buttons I'm afraid of. Levar Burton --yes, a kid from this town-- used to reroute power on the Enterprise to one all the time but I suspect he was BS-ing.

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  6. Huh, and to think I just drive. I'm game for alternate travel experiences though. Maybe next time I'm in California.

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    1. California has every type of terrain, desert to high peaks and seaboard, and my favorite way to travel it is by train --with a well-stocked dining car and good beer selection. Driving is a remote 2nd choice.

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  7. Geo, you have a beautiful family!
    Sounds like it was a wonderful trip!

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    1. Thanks Margie, they are beautiful. Beside them I look like a silly old man, but I put up with that because, by golly, I am.

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  8. There's just so much to love here. "five of the two days" was my personal favorite.

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    1. Thanks, Squid. Time dilation caused by circuitous trajectory.

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  9. That squiggly bridge picture bears an uncanny resemblance to the road we took through the mountains on our trip to North Carolina. Unfortunately, I made the stupid mistake of eating before we made said trip. (Took my face a good hour to lose the green patina once we returned to a semi-straight road.) We did NOT return home by the same route.

    Yep, life is a roller coaster, and it sounds like you had a great ride.

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    1. I believe the inertial dampening field is one of those buttons on the left side of the horn. Should help.

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  10. 'before modern bridge problems were invented'

    :)

    'We performed a series of convolutions based on unfamiliar 8-dimensional physical principles.'

    :D (That's the laughing icon.)

    Geo., this post was lovely in so many ways. The pictures were wonderfully wonderfulicious. And I like your response to Sus just as much as the rest.

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    1. Thank you Suze! I'll relay compliments to Norma.

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  11. I much prefer the new bridge, and will recommend the design to the MInnesota Department of Transportation

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    1. Ok, but remember INERTIAL DAMPENERS.

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  12. Dropping in for a Geo fix: there is no button or lever on my car for that :-) Happy bridges and birthdays!

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    1. Thank you, Lisa! I am busy writing my Sunday sermon but am always happy to hear your starship whizz by.

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