Sunday, February 19, 2012
Fabulous Beasts 5, The Earth
It is rumored to hide underfoot.
According to folklore, it keeps animals to protect its secrets. When we delve too deeply into its canyons and caves, wild things roar up and shake their hairy heads at us.
It draws us downward daily, according to our mass, and tires us into sleep. It causes us to dream. In this suggestible state men receive what scientists call "neural janglents" to make us distracted and jumpy. Women do not.
Creation myths unanimously describe our assembly from soil --men of clay, snails, puppydog tails. Women emerge, wiser and less insecure, from more transcendent materials --everything nice. They intuit and aid the tremendous operations of Earth, like recycling.
Earth wants us to recycle. I have taken notes on the appropriate ritual, a recitative exchange of astonishing antiquity and brevity:
She: Do you mind? It's garbage-out night.
I: No, keep me. I'm still good!